5/09/2013

Finish The Sentence

Happy Thursday dumplings!
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Two of the piss-your-pants-funniest bloggers I know, Jake and Holly, are back again today with some more Finish The Sentence fun. Even more than the fact that tomorrow is an In-Service day at school, I love reading everyone's posts from this link up. If you're having a rough day and need to some venting-laughter, be sure to hop around and read peoples responses to these. There are truly some gems. 

My best friend says... every single time she sees me, that when she's met her goal weight later this summer (she's currently lost almost 100lbs people. 100 pounds. That's a WHOLE TEENAGER!!) that she wants me to make her a chocolate cupcake, with an Oreo base, a Rolo center, and a mountain of chocolate buttercream with rivers of homemade salted caramel oozing down. I'm afraid she'll puke from sugar overload, but nevertheless you can bet your ass I'll make her the best damn oreo-rolo-cupcake I can because she deserves it. I'm so proud of her.

People call me... an 'old soul,' which is a shitty polite way of saying I'm in my mid 20s and old and lame and boring. Whatever. This Grandma is happy.
The best part of my day... is any time I'm eating. I live for breakfast, and lunch, and snack, and dinner. 

I really don't understand... anything mathematical. I know I've got my teaching degree and soon it'll be my responsibility to fill young minds with oodles of valuable information, but I'm truly a doof when it comes to math. For cereal.

I get really annoyed... when the Wifi shits the bed in the middle of me trying to correct a spelling/grammatical error on my blog/Facebook status/ Tweet. I get so overcome with rage I could punch a baby. (I feel its important here that I specify I would never actually punch a baby. It's a figure of speech. Well, here in Vermont anyway).

There's nothing like a... bottle of Woodchuck beer and a giant slab of funfetti cake with rainbow chip frosting. 

Lately, I can't get enough... water and protein shake. Seriously. I'm so desperate to fix this hatred for running in the heat thing I've developed. I ugly cried for nearly all of mile 2 during my puny pathetic 3 miler on Monday. Words cannot describe how awful it went in the 83 degree heat and pelting sunshine. I'm lame and I need help before I curl into a ball and spend my days rocking back and forth.

One thing I am NOT is... quiet or shy. Since the age of 2, Dad has referred to me as 'loud mouth.' True story.
I spent too much money on... college. Between my undergraduate and postgraduate degree abroad, I'm well and truly in the hole. College debt blows the big one.

I want to learn.... to speak French and Italian. 

If I ever met Jake in real life , I would... stalk up with an abundant amount of alcohol and insist we watch a drunken F.R.I.E.N.D.S. marathon together. It would be the shit.

I can't stop... cracking my knuckles. I'm sure my joints will look like Quasimodo soon but that ain't stopping me.  

Never have I ever... pooped in a pool. The reason I say this is because I know people who have (I specifically remember a turd floating around in our high school pool one year). I have, however, peed in a pool as a child. And you know you've peed in a pool before too so don't even make that face!
Reese Witherspoon... is a twonk. Have you heard the police tape they've released with her repeatedly asking that officer who pulled her drunken husband over if he knows who she is. Actually, I believe her exact words are. "Um excuse me sir, but do you know my name? What's my name?" 

16 comments:

  1. I definitely want to link up with this next time! So fun!

    And your best friend deserves two cupcakes for sure!

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  2. I would love nothing more than booze and a friends marathon...thanks for linking with us!

    ReplyDelete

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