3/08/2013

Finish the Sentence

Happy Friday, love bugs!
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My girl Holly (who's talented hubby is the mastermind behind my fantabulous blog design: Holla Chris!) and her blogging buddy Jake have started a new link up which was just too hilarious not to participate in. Called Finish the Sentence, it reminded me of some funky blog version of Mad Libs and I just could't pass it up.
So, without further adieu, pop a squat and enjoy my answers :)

1. People always tell me...I have a nice smile and a blubbly personality. Which, if I'm honest, has always worried me. Not because it isn't sweet, but because that's what the teachers always said to the pudgy insecure nerd burglars in school who were paranoid about what the snotty popular girls were giggling at during recess.

2. In the movie based on my life... Amanda and Carl would win the lottery (bear with me here). With the money they'd buy a private jet and hire John Travolta's sexy ass to cart them (and their friends and families) back and forth between Vermont and England. They'd build castles on both sides of the pond (because John Travolta doesn't mind sleeping in their guest rooms from time to time) and fill them with Anderson babies, MaineCoon cats and Pomskies. Oh, and they'd visit Disney World 3 times a year and eat Belgain waffles with Ariel, Ellen Degeneres and ZaZu.

3. Typically, I end up regretting... the craptastic cheap sports bras I buy on sale at TJ Maxx. In my mid 20s I've finally come to the realization that I have huge boobs and they need the proper support. Bad sports bra = black eyes.

4. I always ask to leave off the...meat. I'm not a big fan of meat (get your mind out of the gutter!) 

5. Kim and Kanye really need to...bugger off to some shitty deserted island where they are forgotten about and slowly morph into Tarzan and Jane. 

6. My parents always reminded me...not to leave my wet towels on the floor or bed because if I did "the whole goddamn room would smell like cat piss!" I now remind Carl of this every single day. Yet more proof that I'm slowly morphing into my mother. Oy vey.

7. Every single day... I'm shufflin' ♪♪♪ 

8.This one time in College... I drank 5 too many tequila shots at a Halloween party, in a packed club, in the middle of Liverpool City Centre. Dressed as a devil (wearing a black and white cat tail - I still don't know where the cat tail came from) I went down an entire flight of stairs on my ass. In front of everyone inside that packed club in the middle of Liverpool City Centre. Upon landing at the bottom, Rihanna's Disturbia began playing and I began to bust a move from the floor. Shortly thereafter Carl escorted carried me home. The next day I could barely move because I'd bruised my coccyx. Like a boss.  

9. My grossest habit is... picking my face. I CANNOT leave the house if there's a nasty pimple on show for the world to see. Can't do it. It has to go. Oh, and if I'm talking to anyone else who has left the house with big pimple on their face, I can't focus. They could tell me there's an alien on my shoulder and I wouldn't take any notice because the spot on their face would hog all of my attention. It's like Austin Powers all over again. Mole! Mole! Mole! 

10. My latest white lie was...telling a little girl at school that I loved her bejazzled Hello Kitty shirt so much that I'd steal it from her if it were my size. It was cute on her...but I'd look pretty stupid wearing it.

11. I know all the words to...Billy Madison. "Hello Mr. Penguin!"

12. When I grow up I want to be... Like Betty White. i.e: AWESOME and fun to hang out with rather than some boring old bat trying to find her teeth under the couch cushion.

13. Sexy time is...something my parents should be barred from talking about. Dad thinks he's funny but it truly does make me gag when he grabs Mom, wiggles his eyebrows and says 'Hey hun. How youu doin? Whatcha ya say we head downstairs?' Ew. Ew. Ew.

14. I will never, ever... smoke cigarettes or eat an oyster. Gag.A.Maggot.

15. I think it's hilarious...when people sneeze the bubbles from soda up their nose and make that cockeyed 'holy shit that hurts' face. Except when it happens to me. Then it's not funny.

10 comments:

  1. love it. i want be you. what a life. thanks for linking up with us!!

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    1. You're welcome. So glad Holly introduced me to your blog! You're hilarious!

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  2. Hey lady! I too am a fellow picker! I too will hopefully not ever eat oysters!! EWW Your movie is very in depth, you really have that thing planned out and I am just going to say that John Travolta is not ageing very well!!

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    1. Hey Ashlee. 3 things:

      1)High five to the pickers out there! ;)

      2)Oysters are file. Who wants to eat something with a snot ball consistency?

      3)I was referring to the John Travolta from his Grease and Pulp Fiction days ;) You're right, he's not aging well. Boo!

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  3. I would pay good money to spend just a single hour with Betty White. I love her show on NBC, Betty White Off Their Rockers or something like that. So funny!

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    1. Hey Erin!

      Thanks for stopping by! Betty White is a gem of a woman. How freakin' awesome would it be to have her as a grandmother? Haaaaha!

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  4. Just found your blog through the link-up. Love the post. I'm 100% sure I've missed out on important info due to someone's disgusting whitehead. Ewwwww!

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    1. Hahaha! Haven't we all missed out on some important info thanks to a whitehead with it's own zipcode? So gross, right?!

      Thanks so much for stopping by!! :)

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