8/17/2012

Because food tastes better in certain shapes...

Today as I ate my yummy bowl of pasta with garlic, olive oil and zucchini I admired how - for some unknown spooky reason - zucchini tastes better when it's cut into half moon shapes and fusilli (aka 'swirly' pasta) triumphs over regular elbow macaroni any damn day. Plead the contrary all you want, but until the day I die I will always be convinced that in those shapes they're far superior.

But why is it that there are certain foods that smell, look and taste better when they're cut/made/transformed into certain shapes? Why is it that our brains are transfixed by triangles, circles and cookie cutter hearts? Is this God's way of laughing at the ridiculous tricks our human minds play? Regardless of the reasoning, it's blatantly obvious. Certain foods taste better and are more appetizing when presented in specific shapes. 

Think I'm a mad woman? Full of crap? Off my rocker? See for yourself. 

 Exhibit #1 
Waffles
We all know that square waffles suck and round waffles are boring...but heart shaped waffles?  FREAKIN' DELICIOUS!
Exhibit #2
Jello
Who the hell want's to eat boring cubes of jello when you can have cookie cutter shaped stars, moons, hearts and diamonds? I mean come on! Those shapes single handedly symbolize childhood and all of it's glorious jiggle fun! Besides, everyone knows strawberry jello tastes more like fuzzy heart tingling goodness when it's shaped like love. 
Exhibit #3
Toast
This is where I know I'm not alone on this shape obsessive weirdo wagon. My husband is admit that toast tastes nicer when cut into triangles. And ya know what, for once - he's right. It does. Square or rectangle toast is boring and morbid.  The peanut gallery shouts for triangles.
Exhibit #4
Pizza
It is a well known fact that a round pizza's are far nicer than square pizza's. To put it bluntly, square pizza's suck. They're dishonest and unnatural with their 4 condescending corners and square slices. The fit perfectly in pizza boxes (which is irregular and mind boggling) and they're uncomfortable to bite - always leaving a greasy square shaped residue on your cheeks because, unlike a triangle slice, they don't fit in your gob quite as well.
Exhibit #5
Doughnuts
If you've been with me since the beginning of my blogging journey you'll already have read my college dissertation food memoirs and know of my love for my Mom's homemade doughnuts...if not, click here to catch up. In the mind of this doughnut connoisseur, doughnut holes are better than normal round doughnuts, and normal round doughnuts stomp all over those shitty long swirly stick things pretending to be doughnuts. 
and finally...Exhibit #6
Hot Dog Buns
Mom: "We're out of hot dog buns Mandy, you'll just have to use a piece of bread." Those words have burnt my ears before and until the day I day I will protest eating hot dogs on normal pieces of bread. Contrary to what my mother believes, it ISN'T the same. Instead, it's like munching on tasteless, square cardboard. Normal pieces of bread leave my hot dog hugless and bare. It's sad and lackluster - not only to my eyes but my hot dog loving taste buds. 
Of course there are  many more foods I could name which taste better in specific shapes, but I'm beginning to get hungry, and I'm slightly concerned about my mental state as I've just wasted a half an hour of my life composing a post devoted to food shapes. Surely I have better things to do with my time?

Anywho, I hope you're all enjoying  a fantastic Friday evening! May you live life to it's fullest and munch triangle toast, wiggly heart Jello Jigglers, round pizza and hot dogs wrapped in the appropriately shaped buns. 

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