Tonight as I sat feeding Olivia in the big snuggle chair in her room, which was dimly lit by her twinkling star lights as Coldplay Radio softly played, I was admiring all of the pictures and special items on her bedroom wall. And there, alongside her teeny tiny 8 week premature not-even-4lbs-yet hand print ornament gifted by her NICU nurses on her first Christmas, is my favorite quote. Framed proudly are the words:
"What I fall?" Oh, my darling but what if you fly?
I read it over and over tonight as I cuddled my baby. My baby who is now 20lbs bigger than when her hand was first pressed into that salt dough ornament hanging alongside it. She's growing. She's becoming more and more of my little sassy girl. I think I love it so much because I can picture myself saying it to her when she's 4 or 16 or 27 or even 40 years old.
My baby will fly. And when she falls, because we all do, I will be right there next to her to dust her off and watch her fly again. Just as my mom watched me. Just as Carl's mom watched him.
Becoming a mother is magnificent. It changes you and allows you to fill every ounce of your body and mind with undying love and hope and dreams for your child. And one of the hardest things as a mother is letting your baby go. You devote your life to loving them, nurturing them, helping them, teaching them to become an independent, compassionate and strong adult. Your goal is that they'll go out into that big scary world and thrive. But when they finally fly solo out into that big scary world, a piece of you flies away with them.
I know now how hard it must have been for you, Lynne, to watch your baby fly so far away with me. I truly understand that now. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart because if it weren't for you, for your love, your nurturing, your help and your guidance, I wouldn't have my Carl. Thank you for allowing him to fly, for us to fly. Because of that, you are not only a wonderful Mother, but the very best Nana to Olivia.
Happy English Mother's Day, Mama Lynne We love you xoxo